Every moment I am alone with this city, I find myself falling deeper and deeper in love. This feels like a romantic relationship where I know that I might have to separate from the man I've grown attached to soon but yet can't seem to pull away. The happiness is real but so is the fear.
I marvel at how much my life has changed since I handed in my resignation letter and decided to fuck-it-all. I bravely bade goodbye to the life I felt miserable in, booked my ticket to NYC with no plans, little money, just a suitcase, a brave heart and an open mind. I remember that on my 23 hour flight, I wrote in my notebook the following line, 'life will never be the same again.'
Fast forward 7 months, my life.. I.. no words. Every struggle, every laugh, every tear, every scar has a story. I can't believe where I am at in life right now, everything I've experienced and everyone I've found (some of whom I've found and lost and nevertheless grateful for). The uncertainty of the future carries on. The struggle goes on to fight for this life in this city I've grown so attached to and need to continue building.
I know that I have come an incredibly long way as I proceed with my application to work and live here. The life I have been dreaming of is so near yet so far.
The happiness is real, but so is the fear.